If you follow me on Instagram, you know I’ve been participating in a challenge called #feelbetterinyourbody. I don’t do many of these challenges anymore, but I made the exception for this one because it wasn’t solely about asana. Sometimes we take selfies or pictures of food that nourish us. I even got a repost from the Yoga and Body Image Coalition for talking about lowering my foot in Tree pose. There’s hope out there in the social media world. Recently, we were asked to post about some of the awesome things we’ve done. It stopped me in my tracks.
I’ve done a ton of awesome things. Every time I attempted to make a post, it didn’t seem good enough. My brain had a reason why every great accomplishment I thought of was a big pile of lame.
You got married? Anyone could do that.
You stayed married? Who cares.
You moved across the country? Big deal.
Ran a 5K? People run marathons.
Finished college? You’re GPA was nothing to write home about.
Yeah, I guess living inside my head isn’t the rose-colored paradise I’d like for it to be. For every accomplishment, my inner-Mean Girl is ready to shoot it down. She’s the part of me that is going to shoot me down before anyone else gets a chance. She’s a protector of sorts, but honestly, she’s kind of a dick about it. I realized that I have begun to treat my accomplishments like dirty dark secrets, and while it keeps me safe, it prevents anyone from ever getting to know me. If no one gets close, I won’t have to feel the pain of their leaving.
The truth is, when I have talked about the really neat things I have done with my one life I’m given, my friends are happy for me. The few people that match my inner Mean Girl with their “so what’s” are people I don’t really care to have in my life. You can say living openly and honestly is the great divider, and the haters will reveal themselves. Being proud of myself doesn’t have to be scary. It is actually a huge time saver. It brings the good people out of the shadows, and makes the miserable ones disappear. It’s the most loving line in the sand we can draw.
In the spirit of “making something awesome happen” here’s a list of my accomplishments. I invite you to share some of your own in the comments.
- I got married
- I’ve stayed married
- I finished college (B.A. Psychology)
- I made an A in high school AP Calculus
- I took the LSAT 3 times
- I had a job reading tarot cards
- I have a Massage Therapy license
- I am currently a licensed Master Massage Therapist in the State of Arkansas
- I received training in the following massage modalities: Neuromuscular Therapy, Lomi Lomi, Reflexology, Manual Lymphatic Drainage, Bellanina Facelift Massage, Tui Na
- I am a licensed TIMBo Facilitator
- I have run my own TIMBo groups
- I paint
- I held my father’s hand as he died
- I’ve had an adult job with benefits and a retirement plan
- I quit my adult job with benefits and a retirement plan
- I owned my own business
- I went out of business
- I became a yoga teacher
- I teach vinyasa and yoga as meditation to the students at Phillips Exeter Academy
- I moved to New Hampshire with absolutely no plans, friends, or job prospects
- I made friends as an adult
- I am a writer
- My articles have been featured on DoYouYoga.com
- I have run a 5K without stopping to walk. (2013 Cow Paddy Run, Fayetteville, AR)
- I got to be a part of the filming of Gentle is the New Advanced online yoga course
- I have a regular yoga/meditation practice