I’ve been writing on this wee blog here for almost two years, and while I think it’s an accomplishment in of itself that I’ve been able to stick with regular writing for that long, I can’t help but ask myself if I’m doing all I can to put myself out there. I’ve grown a wee audience for my wee blog, but I think I’ve hit that place where it’s time to lift up the bed and sweep out any dust bunnies. I’m very much a do-it-yourself kind of person, but against my nature and in favor of the cause of bringing some new life into my website, I enrolled in a “How to Build an Influential Blog,” web course. I’m cringing over here. I REALLY don’t like asking for help. I completely loathe even acknowledging to anyone (especially myself) that I can’t do something on my own. But there comes a time when you just have to be honest with yourself. I can type, write, and click that post button. I even have some left over HTML skills from 1997, but I don’t know how to get all of THIS all out THERE. I need some help.
At first I approached this course with a bit of smugness. As I watched the introduction video and heard the teacher talk about what a powerful medium of communication that blogging is I tried to keep my eyes from completely rolling in the back of my head. I didn’t succeed. I was not taking this course seriously, and I don’t think I take myself too seriously either. I’m pretty sure I was checking Instagram while listening to my e-course in the background when I heard the instructor say the phrase, “You have to drink the Kool-aid.” My ears perked up, but I was still loaded down with heavy skepticism. I had to drink the Kool-aid before I could expect anyone else to. I had to believe in myself, my writing, and my cause first before anyone else could get on board. I definitely could find where I was lacking in this department.
The second point she made hit me the hardest. She said to stop treating your writing like it’s the craft table in the corner of the basement. Crap, my blog IS my basement craft table. It’s this hidden thing that when people ask me about it I just reply, “Oh that’s my dusty old blog down there…it’s really not a big deal. It’s a mess. I don’t really make anything important. I just throw glitter around, and it makes me happy.” When people I know compliment me on something I’ve written in person, I want to implode inside of myself until I disappear. I long so much to be read, to be heard, to be acknowledged, yet at the hint of, “I see you,” I’m ready to hibernate for the winter. I’ll come out when it’s safe, and you all are ignoring me again.
I decided to take a big leap into forced vulnerability and change my website to my name. It probably is not that big of a leap for some because well, it is my legal name, but for me it was a huge step in dusting off the metaphorical basement craft table and moving it upstairs to the living room. Yes, this is my little project. I claim it. I stand behind it. I have drunk my own Kool-aid, and it is delicious. My friends, I would also welcome any talk of my writing in person, because then I can practice on that whole looking you in the eye thing and saying thank you like a human being instead of shrugging it off, muttering under my breath, and hiding behind furniture like a nervous ape lady. You took the time to read. You deserve that much.
With all of that said, I’m very excited of some things I have planned for my big awesome living room craft table. I am starting a whole new Practice area of my website that will soon be full of yoga and meditation videos. While I teach vinyasa yoga, this will include some of that, but also a lot of other things that I call “my practice.” There’s a Yoga Nidra meditation up right now. If you would also like to check out some of the places my writing has been featured, take a lookie over here. I’m completely thrilled (also a wee bit scared because that’s just how I do things) to be sharing myself, my teaching, and my practice with you, and I’m so grateful that you are still reading, listening and bearing with me during all of my little growing pains. I truly appreciate you, and I look forward to practicing together.
(P.S. – If you need some help with your own blog/basement craft table, check out StacyRust.com Her blog course is very useful, and my eye-rolling is only due to my own cynicism. She is great and perfect the way she is.)