I am an aspiring yogini. I have wanted to take a yoga teacher training for years, but I never have. I was too scared to ask off work. I didn’t think I was fit enough. I didn’t think I was thin enough. I was afraid people would think I was crazy, a hippie, unrealistic, or a fool. I didn’t want to be a fat yoga teacher. Please understand. There is nothing wrong with being an overweight yoga teacher. I just know that to be one, I would have to be strong. I would have to look people in the eye and see judgment and criticism and not have any of my own. I didn’t have the guts.
I came to the realization today that I have constantly used my body as a road block, and my body became very proficient at being one. I just stayed in this constant cycle of self-loathing and self-destruction. The only way out of the cycle is to start a new one: a cycle of self-care and admiration. I’ve reached a time in my life where I am so tired of the fears and excuses that I am willing to look each one in the eye and see them for what they are. They are just old habits. Today, I took the plunge. I put down a deposit for a yoga teacher training. I don’t know what size yoga instructor I will be, but I do know I will be a woman who used her body to face her fears. It’s the best good habit to have.
What do you use your body for?
Video from Reembody.me